Contentment Contentment is blue. Sky blue. It is peaceful like the open blue sky but do not consider it to be dormant. Contentment is vibrant but free from turmoil. Free from the turmoil of the desire. Free from the affliction of the imperiling pursuits of matter and pride. Free from the torment and the restlessness caused by the craving. It is free and open like the open blue sky.

The mind is a very complicated instrument, if I can call it that. A human is something, a 100 times more complex than the complexity of a 100,000 asimos put into one. No, this number is still small. Whatever be the number, the mind is like a cylinder with a sieve at the bottom. It wants. And it keeps wanting. So we keep demanding and keep achieveing and keep giving the mind what we think it wants. But what we get, is small in size, it passes through the sieve, the mind still be empty, hungry and desirous, desires for more. We desire more, for we 'hope' that one day we shall satisfy it. Imagine putting flour into a cylinderical vessel with holes at the bottom. We put in a lot of flour very quickly and the vessel seems full, satisfied for a while. We find ourselves happy for a while.. But the flour starts to escape. It starts to fall and we begin to starve again. Crave again for the fulfilment. Unfortunately, the life is such a play, where we cannot always keep putting flour. But we still want to obtain those small moments of consummation, always. Not knowing, that it will fill again just to be empty when the flour falls off.

I am a fan! I am a bewildered. Astonished. Is there a greater word ? I am in awe when I see how everything is fashioned. How subtle it is. How elusive is that which exists yet so intimate. Realize the amicability of life when it tries to teach us the way and realize one's folly when we fail to larn that the flour falls off.

The vessel of the mind needs something concrete and not the slithery flour to attain satisfaction. Something that will not sieve out. 'The hunger to want more' will never ever give you what you want. It will never give you anything except a feeling of incompleteness and restlessness. For the flour will fall off.

The mind fails to understand the state of abscence of desire for it is the desire that exaggerates the sense of pleasure that would be achieved by its fulfilment, but it is only after you obtain something, you know how worthless it was. But one does not stop here. We feel that this did not serve the purpose, maybe reaching to something else would. But the flour always falls off.

Contentment. It is different. Different from what we have ever experienced. It is the absence of the thirst for more. It is like having that full-state always. It is like having everything. Contentment is having all wishes granted which is absolutely the same as having none. Rather, having none is better because then the infinite loop of things does not start in the first place, so there's no flour here. There's something bigger. And the size would not matter because it fills you up to the brim. And a content mind, is a satisfied mind for it has given up the flour that always falls off.

If someone would say, it is difficult to love an ideal person, I would humbly tell them that the grapes are sour because... because they know why. For an ideal human is content. And if he/she has experienced contentment, there's a lot to be awestruck about them and there's a lot to love.

Contentment is so gratifying. It is bliss. Bliss in sky blue. Alas, cannot be estimated by the discontent mind for the flour always falls off.  ¶ 9:46 PM 30 comments

  Relations A Relation is not an emotion,
Mistily, it is yet an emotion,
It is never, transparent fully,
Mistily, it is yet a motleyed notion.

We have different relations with the people around us. Not to mention it is a fundamental need. At some age parents are most essential and at some age friends and a point arrives when a partner cannot be dispensed with. And later in life, kids and support and all the obvious relations that exist.

But every relation is finite and limited. For everyone want their own happiness from others and nothing else. Every relation built and mantained is for one's own pleasure or need, now or later. Kids are cute and adorable because they are so innocent and sinless. But apart from that, why do the parents 'love' their kids ? Isn't their an expecation hidden, that the child shall support us in our days of feebleness. I do not belittle this attitude, but I can also not neglect it. Why do we make friends ? For others ? Or for our own company and socializing... It is all a give-and-take. One may scorn such views as disparaging but it is the very basis of our kinship. Why do we cry when someone dies ? Is it for them ? It is for our own selves.

Talking of relations, sometimes I feel that the teacher-student relation has been much hypersanctified. Everybody works for money and recognition and that is for themselves. They claim students are not interested in studying or gaining knowledge rather passing away with minimal work. But think, why would someone gain knowledge ? For money and recognition... What else ? So why the grading of interests...

Not the forget the much exaggerated and fancied lover relationship. Unconditional love is much different from what we see or hear around us. It is too rare to be experienced rather seen even, by everyone. But the crimson red emotion has its own wonders. Love. True when there is no expectation left and no desire except existance.

Octagon. 8 points. I have been mercilessly tagged by dear Pradyot I have to write 8 points about the person who could qualify to be my lover or maybe vice-versa. In any case, this.. is.. a.. tough.. one.

Love should be unconditional- I think that wraps up the whole thing at once and envelopes all the following things.
! - Care
Love and care are brothers you see.
@- Compassion
One who can love, is most compassionate. He can never inflict pain to others for personal interests and cannot be without empathy
#- Understanding
The understand of oneself and the other, One's own needs and the other's, One's own expectations and the others, One's own limit and the other's is a key point for any healthy relationship.
$- Humility
Oh how bitter this ego is. Oh how bitter it is.
%- Inspiration
My love should for always be a source of inspiration for me to revere and respect.
^- Calmness
A serene sense of thought and patient activity make a man.
&- Contentment
A content mind is the home of well-being.
*- Sense of Humor
Someone who is able to understand my sense of humor and who can make me laugh is a must.

Have I made it too ideal to be ?
P.S. The colors haven't finished. :D  ¶ 1:02 PM 27 comments

  Awe Awe is golden. Precious it is. Precious like the golden gold and yet its invaluableness can only by experienced by experiencing it.

Awe is wonder. Awe is when you wonder how. How has this been done ? How has this been established ? And when this 'How' has no answer, you accept the doer to be better than you. Then the desire to emulate is born. Awe takes birth when we look far away beyond knowledge and discover that there lies a whole world ahead us of which we experience yet a very small part. Awe takes birth when we look deep within ourselves and find that there lies a potential yet to be stirred up and of which we use yet a very small part. While the awe for what lies beyond gives us extended sight, the awe for what lies within gives us extended insight.

Pride can shield awe and so can ignorance. Pride and ignorance are son and mother. Sometimes what we encounter is so great that we consider it to be lowly, served by our ignorance. Sometimes what we encounter is grand but in order to not-accept it, we ignore it, served by our pride.

But being awed is a something unimaginable. Firstly, there's a sense of our incapabilty to achieve what we see has been achieved. Secondly, the hope that rises up to reach that state. In some subtle manner, these things rouse us and make us appreciate honestly. The quest born out of awe is selfless, not clouded by the shadows of personal interests, or concealed motives. The mind follows the object of awe, and dwells upon it inspired by awe alone, delving deeper and soaring higher at the same time. It is this selfless quest that gives birth to the art of the artist, the insight of the scientist, the faith of the worshipper, the thought of the philosopher, the inspiration of the warrior, the triumph of the conqueror, the innovation of the inventor, and beauty in the eyes of the beholder.


The biggest source of awe is the creation we are a part of. We take things for granted. Like flowing waters or radiant fires, millions of colors or millions of tastes. Countless states of existance and countless emotions we incur. Be awed watching our inside and being awed again watching what we have outside. Again I say, we take things for granted and say "Ah! This is simply evolution!". But thats just a superficial way of looking at it. Somethings we find very obvious have hidden behind them millions of details and awesome patterns which make them work. Awe is born when we look up and discover a way of nature for the first time, though it had always existed, quiet and passive for our eyes, and yet playing its part, like the millions of stars that twinkle there, whether we watch them or not. That moment of realization inspires the soul, that observance of the beauty is a moment of rarity, and stays with us forever as a source of faith in the world.

The admiration that is yielded starts some subtle vibration in the mind. I don't know about others, atleast I feel so. I feel that vibration going from my head to the toe. Some kind of a mysterious soothing sensation that runs down with immense pleasure when some amount of admiration bears in me. And to inspire more awe, the awesome feeling born out of this awe is awing in itself. Awe is what we feel on finding a common thread binding the seemingly obscure and intermingled ways of nature, when the light of simplicity finds its way through the dark dungeons of doubt and confusion. This is a moment of ecstasy, it surpasses all joys of worldly contentment, and propels us into a quest for the unknown.

These moments of awe, have the power to, and have in the past changed the course of the journey of mankind through time. The moments of awe are ephemeral, and yet the effect is eternal. These moments let us break away from the mundane path of material success and motivate us to embark upon the extraordinary path of real accomplishment. The paths require courage and endurance, and are glorious not just at the end, but throughout the course, unlike the nature of ordinary material success.

Awe is precious and much more than gold. But it is, yes dear, golden.  ¶ 2:52 PM 18 comments

  Ego Ego is grey. Grey in its darker forms. It is like cement. Like a huge mass of dry cement stuck on the floor of our mind. Obstructing our ways and hurting us everytime we pass through.

Ego is demanding. It demands that each and everything in the existance, salutes us rather worships us for then they cannot refuse to whatever we say and achieve complete freedom. Egoistic behaviour is simply making a fool of ourselves for ego is the son of ignorance.

Ego speaks. It says ""I" am the best. What are you ? You are nothing". It says I am better than you. It says I am luckier than you. It says I can think better than you.

Ego, If one sees closely, has got only two chairs to sit. Luck and knowledge. I am better-looking than you. I am richer than you. I am from a better background than you. I am from a better place than you. I am stronger than you. Mostly, Ego of luck; I am more intelligent than you. I can do this better than you. I can get more marks than you. I am a better poet than you. I have the power to do this and you dont. I am more experienced than you. Mostly, Ego of knowledge. In most cases a mixture of luck and knowledge incites in us a feel of superiority over the other. Ego can also sit on modesty. Some try to show how humble they are. But that humility is hypocritical.

Killing ego, I admit, is hardfought. I am amazed to see when I see that the most destitute of people possess in them this feeling of superiority. I do not criticize anyone for that for I am in the same phase myself.

Ego and self-respect. Where is the line to be drawn ? This question has confused a lot many. Ego bothers what others think and wants others to think better of myself though I may not be so. Self-respect is what one thinks of oneself. Self respect is a feeling in which you choose to be free and are able to fight whoever causes a hinderance in your freedom and way of thought forcefully. Ego and self-respect are different domains.

Argument. Arguments are seldom useful. After an argument, neither I change my way of thinking, neither you do. It is just that our egos grow. And then ego restricts our knowledge. It prohibits us to learn more. It tells us "you know it all.. you have no need to learn!". Virtues are like a fountain. They go up with some pressure but the gravity of ego pulls them back. Flattery, in this world, shall not cease to exist. Dishonest praise about oneself causes one to believe that one's better than one actually is and we start considering others inferior.

Ego sees no relation. It sees no mother, no father, no friend, no brother. It sees only 'I'. It causes anger and false happiness. Ego is like sweet poison and the false happiness is like the sweet in it but all it is capable of giving us... is pain.

The remedy lies in, again, the removal of ego's dad, Ignorance. When we realize how small and insignificant we are from the bottom of our heart, we start realizing how wrong we were with ego. We start understanding how much pain ego had caused us. Ego is so intelligent, it pangs us and doesn't even let us know who did it.

Ego does not let one remove his ego. It is so rigid. If one considers the thought, of truth being, that we are so insignificant, ego quickly voids that and pushes our mind to wander in some other direction. It is so rigid.
It is as rigid as a huge mass of cement. It is really grey, in its darker shades.

And ya, it takes a big enough ego to spot if someone else has a big one.  ¶ 4:17 PM 36 comments